dear barely regret #3
you were only false hope. a mirage. but don’t let that fool you. you meant/mean nothing to me. you weren’t a crush. you weren’t even a dent. you were barely a scratch. a nick.
in fact if you were an injury you would hardly leave a mark let alone a bruise or a scar. i wouldn’t even cover it up it would be so unobtrusive.
and i’m not just saying this because i’m bitter because i’m not. i mean this from the bottom of my heart. i’m sorry for the way things turned out, but every bridge that burns goes both ways. and i’m just saying this just so there’s no misunderstanding. you meant nothing and the only thing i actually regret is the fact that i let you believe that i actually felt something for you other than curiosity. and whatever i said that night, whatever nonsense or bullshit i spouted, that wasn’t me.
i hope someday you find someone that can make you happy and give you everything that you never wanted from me and i never wanted to give to you
xoxo
dear regret #1
sometimes i wish i could just man up and tell you that i’m sorry for everything that happened between us, and to ask you for your forgiveness. but forgiveness is something you ask from someone for making a mistake, not for your imperfection. You ask for forgiveness when one is due for an act of momentary fault. An accident or a slip-up. A fluke or an anomaly. In other words, deviation from your normal daily behavior. You forgive a friend for accidentally rear-ending your car or stepping on your toes you don’t forgive someone for being an asshole. You can’t. It’s not possible by definition. How do your forgive someone for being the way he is? Forgiveness implies repentance and guilt by the forgiven and an oversight and absolution by the forgiving of a payment due.
If this seems like a cheap excuse by way of rhetoric you’re right. I’m still sorry though.
time sure flies when u have absolutely nothing to look forward to
my relentless hopes of doing something great and my inability to give up my unrealistic dreams and aspirations mean that
a. I’ve far too much unwarranted pride for me to settle for working at some menial dead-end job beneath some idiot without killing myself
b. I’m far too stupid to realize that I’m no smarter and no more talented than any other chump stuck in a post-graduate funk unwilling to face the reality of their mediocrity
c. I’m far too stubborn and childish for me to stop daydreaming about convincing the world of my artistic genius and actually move on with my life.
d. all of the above
I cud prolly go on forever..
why lol doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to mean
lol/haha/hahaha = when i’m pretending like i’m laughing out of politenes or to point out the fact that i’m not serious
lololol/LOL/lolllllll = when i find something sort of funny, and i have a smirk on my face
HAHAHAHAHAH = when i actually feel like laughing out loud, but don’t because I don’t laugh out loud when I’m alone
honestly..i don’t know what’s worse. reblogging some bullshit that you contributed absolutely nothing to in order to hint at your innermost thoughts and artistic tastes or blogging some bullshit episode about your shitty life that you can’t do anything else but to post on tumblr because you have no true friends
ugh all this look at me i’m so sad! look at me i’m so happy! look at all the fun stuff i’m doing!
yuck who cares? cuz i sure don’t.
i think i’ve been reading too much Salinger..
augh..can’t sleep knowing that you’re somewhere out there, not beside me
